This is Mr. Handsome again. My last post ended with Ellie and I looking to buy a minivan. I finally came to terms with the idea. It was actually a very freeing experience when I realized that I could give up any pretense of being hip and cool because no one will ever think I have any ounce of “hip” or “cool” left in me when I drive up in a minivan.
We searched online for used cars but found the current used car market to be way overpriced. Many of the used minivans were actually over our budget because they all had fancy features, like leather seats and sun roofs. So we drove into the nearest Honda dealer and asked for the cheapest minivan they had. No bells and whistles, just the stripped-down version. We looked like a very sorry lot, Ellie and I disheveled with Little Buddy climbing all over us, and the dealer said “We have just the vehicle for you.”
We had to travel to the far corner of the lot to find the last 2020 model. Let’s just call it the “basic” model. No automatic lights, no automatic doors, no leather, nothing more than 4 wheels and seven seats. The vehicle had only 6 miles on it and had apparently never been test driven. The poor thing looked very lonely, just hoping for a family to adopt it. “My boss said he will knock $4,500 off the sticker price,” the salesman said. I think he wanted to get rid of both the vehicle and us.
And I wasn’t about to complain. After a quick test drive, we headed inside to sign the paperwork. Little Buddy must have been very excited about the new car because he began running through the dealership, singing/making high-pitched squeals at the top of his lungs. He was also impressed by the shiny new cars and was eager to leave fingerprints on each one. As we were looking at the paperwork and talking about financing, Little Buddy let us know his opinion of the documents by pulling them off the table and throwing them on the floor.
“Perhaps we could take y’all into the employee lounge to finish the paperwork,” suggested the salesman. Little Buddy loved this idea because the employee lounge had a sink. While were signing documents, he pushed a chair over to the sink, turned it on, and began splashing water all over himself.
When we finally drove away in our new minivan, I think the dealership threw a celebration.
Does buddy have a babysitter?
I am so very happy to see that you keep Little Buddy rear-facing (I assume this is a photo of your actual car). In our corner of the world extended rear-facing is a lot more common than in the US and many other countries. We have kept our three kids rear-facing until between 5,5 and 6,5 years. That is rather extreme but totally possible. Rear-facing is the safest way for children to travel (it would be for adults too if one could see the road…). Take a look at Sweden where extended rear-facing has been practiced the longest. And congrats on your new vehicle!
Hi Netta,
That’s really interesting. I did some research because I was so fascinated, and Sweden does seem to have fewer child deaths from auto accidents. What brand car seat did you use to keep your kids rear facing that long? I know that many do not accommodate larger children. Did your kids just fold their legs up?
Ellie
Ellie I used the clek foonf for extended rear facing up to 50 lbs. I think even Britax may have some rear faces to 50 lbs now too but I’m not sure. All four of my children were able to stay rear facing to at least age 4, a couple even to age 5! Totally worth the $ for the peace of mind that I’m protecting my child as best I can!
Hi Katerra,
Thanks for sharing. I have heard of the Clek Foonf but don’t know anyone who has it. Is it easy to install?
Ellie
Yes the foonf is very easy to install. We used Britax and Cleks and we much preferred the ease of use and installation of the foonf. Its pricey but we never regretted it.
Our rear-facing car seats were all Britax. We had several different models, at least hi-way, two-way and max-way, they were all up to 55 lbs (or 25 kilograms). None of our kids reached that weight limit. They outgrew the car seat by height at about 3’11-4’1 (120-125 cm). I do know that you do not have the same car seats in the US as we have in Europe because of different safety regulations and standards. I am by no means an expert on American car seats, but I know that you can find rear-facing car seats for older kids. This seems to be a useful webpage https://dailymom.com/discover/13-best-car-seats-for-extended-rear-facing/. I encourage you to keep Little Buddy and siblings to come rear-facing as long as possible. I personally would never put a child younger than 4 forward-facing. Our 7-year old still use a high back booster seat, which is what to recommend once the kid has outgrown the rear-facing car seat.
Thanks for all that info, Netta. And photos would be great. My email is [email protected]. Our car seat is Britax, too, but it does look like the European Britax car seats are different. That’s really interesting. I never would have thought that car seats would be different in different countries.
Ellie
Ellie I would check with your police department to find out the age you have to change them in to front facing. Because if you keep them rear face to long and their eating some you won’t no if their choking or not.
I forgot to answer the second question. Yes, our kids folded their legs and never did they complain about that. Folded legs is not a problem. Adults think it looks uncomfortable, but usually it is not. Kids are flexible. Do you have an e-mail address? I would be glad to send you some pictures of our kids.
Wow that’s a long time to keep a child in a rear facing car seat. They are big and old enough to be in school and most kids are in or getting ready to be in booster seats at that age. My children and everyone I know who has children are in front facing car seats by 18 months old. I’m surprised at how many people are so fearful these days about everything. My goodness we never even used car seats when I was young and we all made it through just fine. Caution is onething, morbid fear is another.
Many car seats require rear facing until 2yrs of age. And in most areas the law requires you to follow the guidelines of your seat. Updated guidelines do encourage rear facing until you max out your seat. It has to do with the risk of internal decapitation. Lots of people also made out just fine without seat belts, but we still use them 🙂
We have a britax and it says max for rear facing is 35lbs
Umm, all I can say is wow, just wow! It’s like the cave incident all over again. It sounds like “Little Buddy” is just allowed to run wild and if people don’t like it that’s just tough.
I can’t believe 3:29 is encouraging parents to let kids run wild. There’s already too much of that going on these days.
I totally disagree with 3:29. “If people don’t like it that’s just tough” is not the attitude to have about raising children or letting them behave badly. Who wants a little kid touching expensive showroom cars? If they have a toy in their hand, they could cause thousands of dollars of damage to the finish and it would have to be disclosed that the car was repaired before being sold. Not funny. Not being responsible.
I’m at 329, and I was in no way condoning bad behavior in children. I was being sarcastic because “Ellie” and “Mr. Handsome” seem to be allowing “Little Buddy” to run wild in numerous public situations.
I think 9:10pm and 9:13am should read 3:29pm’s comment again, Lol.
Exactly!
I sure hope all that stuff about Buddy was there for jokes and didn’t really happen that way. Certainly you aren’t the kind of parents who let their kid run around like a maniac when out in public. Surely you take along quiet activities and know enough to step outside if things get crazy. Nor would you think of staying out during naptime and skipping that so you have an over-tired and over-stimulated child. It’s possible you could have gotten more off the car price if the dealership wasn’t annoyed and having to clean up after you. Why no babysitter? You were out at friends’ last week, so you must not be worried about exposure.
Wow! Little Buddy’s behavior sounds horrendous! There is nothing remotely funny about what he did, especially with him touching everything in sight during a global pandemic.
I guess the nay sayers are a part of every buddy’s world. They get to know that. They need to learn naysayers limits and real limits.
Umm…what?? He’s a toddler. Toddlers are meant to (and should) explore. They need it for their growth and development.
I’m sorry you have such a harsh view of normal toddler behavior.
I was thinking about this earlier today. Rear facing car seats offer more support and protection for the head and neck of children. There are no guarantees of total protection, but the little people deserve any help we can give them.
I sure hope you’re joking about how Little Buddy behaved.
I wouldn’t call it joking, more like telling lies on his little boy. Mr. H wants to respect his privacy but it’s okay to tell lies about him.
My goodness that’s rather extreme of a comment, as a parent I would say even if they are not acting exactly this way you sometimes feel as if that’s the perception, and they have every right to protect his privacy
Cute story. Happy new car family. Rosealeigh
As a parent to a few young children, I find that I always over exaggerate situations in my head. That small sound in church? Might as well had been an airhorn. That wooden decoration knocked on the floor at a friend’s? I mean, my kid probably just damaged a family heirloom. I don’t know about all the other commenters 1 year old boys, but mine hasn’t quite figured out things like inside voice, sit still, keep your arms at your sides, and things on tables are there for a reason. Are you really judging these parents for the fact their child touched paper within his reach, found an echo-y building fun to yell in, and put his hand on cars (that I doubt others were touching at his level) as he walked by? If you read past the humorous embellishment you’ll find typical 1 year old behavior. And yeah, leaving the house with kids is stressful, but there is no reason to leave a child with a babysitter for a potential 30 min trip to a car lot to find there is nothing there for you.
No wonder you dislike your child, as you’ve stated many times. The kid sounds like a nightmare. Perhaps a little less time on the internet or running around and spreading COVID would give you more time to spend on teaching your kid how to behave.
Esther. You should be ashamed. Please think about the words you write like the words you speak. They are the same, and I doubt you would tell someone hurtful lies to their face and accuse them of the things you did. Maybe you should refrain from participating on this blog, as you are a toxic person.
Esther, you and I would be good friends. I think you and I are in a very small minority among posters here with regards to our attitudes about COVID and kids’ behavior. I was the one who loved your social distancing comment the other day.
Wow that is just mean. The behaviour described probably is exaggerated but even if every word is true that does not give you the right to be horrible. Shame on you.
Normal children at little Buddy’s age run around and play. They don’t like to sit still. I don’t know a single toddler who willing just sits for thirty minutes to an hour. My parents just bought a new car, and it took two hours for the paperwork to be completed. Expecting a little one to sit that long is unrealistic! Obviously Elly’s husband always writes his stories in a humorous way. I am sure everything was exaggerated to make it funny. I am sorry y’all don’t have a sense of humor!
This is a very relatable “life with a toddler story!” Little Buddy sounds fun! Congrats on finding a great deal on the van!
Who gets primary use of this vehicle, you or Handsome? I think I’d want something 4WD if I lived where you do. Don’t you get snow and ice? I love how my 4WD BMW and Jaguar handle in rain and on dry road too. Can’t beat European handling anyway, but add 4WD and it’s perfect. I also love all the safety features that came with my SUV – lane departure warning, blind spot warning, object sensors, automatic braking, heads-up display, bird’s-eye camera view for parking, etc. We skipped stuff like heated seats but ordered every safety feature available.
That sounds like a great car! We get some ice but very little snow. Usually when there is ice on the ground, everything closes and people stay home. We are considering getting a truck when our other vehicle needs to be replaced.
Ellie
Some of the comments are not in line with my thinking. Hey, just who is spending their hard earned money to buy a family van for a vehicle? I should think the dealerships would be begging for a visit from this whole family. If they are selling family cars they should be eager to make it a welcome, fun, learning experience for the children of the customer. What did the dealership do to on to their part to accommodate a child while the parents were busy there?
Did the child go away we with a toy or a balloon? I don’t to think it is the child who’s doing anything wrong. I think the child goes in happy and is learning during everything and not being viewed too critically. It is not nice to look at down at children and families as if you are better than them. Isn’t that pride?
I think it’s easy to forget how trying it is to have an active young child. As much as we try to keep them on a schedule, babysitters are not always readily available or affordable and everything cannot revolve around our precious Littles at all times, otherwise nothing would get done. I recently purchased a car myself and when trying to work around my little one’s schedule, I missed out on a lot of vehicles that suited our needs and were within our price range . I think we also forget (or don’t know because we haven’t yet experienced), how quickly active littles can move. In the time it takes to sign your name on a slip, they’re off enjoying an activity that to others can seem mischievous but for them is just a matter of innocent curiosity. This article, sounds like a description of the exception not the rule. In times of exception, safety and character is what parents are focusing on, not the temporary and fleeting annoyance of other people. How about we give Ellie&Co. the benefit of the doubt, commenting with kindness and understanding instead of overt & passive aggressive judgement and shaming.
First, rear facing is all very well in theory but it makes a lot of people (myself included) feel really sick. My kids all fussed a lot in the car until they got to face forward and I’m sure it is because they feel sick. I had to balance their regular discomfort against the risk that they would be less well protected in an accident. Given that accidents are relatively rare and that forward facing seats do provide significant protection, I chose to prioritise their everyday comfort.
Secondly, sometimes kids do behave badly and it is not a sign of someone being a bad parent. Little Buddy is a toddler and was bored. Sometimes that leads to crazy behaviour. Parents are people. Children are people. Sometimes people behave badly. That is life.
Thirdly, I bet a lot of people who are implying you should have left buddy with a babysitter would criticise you for having a sitter in order to work/ enjoy yourself.
Okay, so I think pretty much everyone who said something negative about Buddy’s behavior is not a parent, or has forgotten how it was, or their kids were not active. I thought it was totally normal behavior!! I guess my kids are all wild! Come on, please do not tell me your toddler would not run around if given a chance, pull papers off a table when sitting on a lap, or play with water!! Most people are NOT bothered by this sort of normal toddler behavior. I’m positive it was true but I’m also positive Ellie and her husband didn’t just sit there and say “oh how cute” while he was doing these things. Please allow kids and parents to be normal. He’s not going to sit in a chair and fold his hands at his age, and I think it’s great when parents try to avoid using technology to distract their kids, even if it’s more work.
I love this comment! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I appreciate Mr. Handsome’s sense of humor. His stories are colorful and always make me smile!
Don’t worry a bout bring cool and hip cause as the song says, “it’s hip to o be square”!
You want to be a very square, square to view but only a hip, cool guy to your wife.
(Alert! Manly, handsome, square, provider types are magnets to many! You need to keep yourself free from others efforts to attach to themselves to all that.)
Glad you got something that worked for you, although for the record, automatic doors on vans are THE BEST. I definitely feel like I’m riding in style in ours. The cool factor didn’t matter once I realized how nice it was to have space! Especially for travel and most especially around the holidays when we had to cram two families’ worth of gifts in the back, in addition to 2-3 days of luggage for four.
I really love how much space our minivan has! I’m sure automatic doors would be nice, too. LOL
We had a mini van from when our kids where younger all the way through high school. The automatic doors were WONDERFUL! Approaching the vehicle with pushing a loaded grocery cart that also contains a baby and a toddler OR a toddler with a preschooler walking alongside was so much easier with the auto door. Consider adding that option if you purchase another one in the future. Also, we have had many vehicles ~ all brand new. From sedans to pickup trucks to SUVs to sports cars. Hands down the mini van had the most storage space and most comfortable ride of all.
My husband has a truck and I have a car. When it was time to replace my car in 2009, I told the car salesman that I wanted to see the cheapest new car they had on the lot. I bought the car even with it’s cranking windows, Lol. Enjoy your new mini-van and drive safe.
Everything the baby did is normal behavior. However, most parents will do everything in their power to stop it. Everyone shops with kids and this has been going on forever. If the intent is to buy a car, we also know this won’t take 30 minutes. However, the baby’s behavior was either distracting or dangerous which was why the dealership moved the family to the employee lounge. In this situation, one parent should have stayed with the baby while the second parent completed the paperwork. They could then switch for the second signature. It is not the dealership’s responsibility to look after kids. They may provide a small play area, but a parent still needs to supervise their child in this area. Some may see this as criticism, but as several people have noted, this has happened in the cave tour and the strawberry field. It’s not the baby’s fault since he doesn’t know better. As my parents always said, it only takes a few seconds for something bad to happen.
Ellie, I’m so glad Mr. Handsome made the statement about the used car market being overpriced. My hubby and I are starting to look at replacing our 11 year old Honda CRV and we are shocked at the price of used cars. I hope you love your mini van as much as my sister loves hers. She’s on her second Honda Odyssey minivan and loves it!
I can be cheaper in the long run to buy new, get the full warranty, and keep the vehicle well maintained and running for 10 or more years. Used cars are not always a bargain, for many reasons.
Toddlers can act crazy. I’m sure Ellie and her husband took turns watching the child so he would not destroy any property in the dealership. I think the article just exaggerated for the story. I remember when my kids were little there was a little girl in my daughters dance class that acted horribly disrespectful to the teacher and argued with her as the parent sat there giggling. At a certain point this behavior stops being cute and funny and is just disrespectful
We don’t have a van now , but My family has a suburban . The older one had one extra seat than our new one . Our kids have plenty of space , fits a double stroller good , and fits our luggage when we travel on trips . We only have 3 kids right now ,but it fits us and we have a few extra seats .
We have taken our kids each time to get a car and I remember how stressful it was when signing paperwork . Even though my kids are a little older ,it’s still not easy car shopping .
As far as rear seat goes , I let my youngest stay rear-facing until 2 like they say to do now. She was also on the tiny side , so I felt it was safer for her . My boys I turned them forward at 1 . Now that was back before they changed it to 2 and they were bigger .
I also know that the 5 point harness is much safer than the booster . I know some seats might let you do that till 8 or 9 .
My daughter was two almost three when I turned her front facing. I was like you, and I turned my son around at one too. Things did change in 16 years. LOL
Cat shopping with a little kid is rough, I had to do it with my 3 and 8 month old last year. I found a perfect car for me and my family with lots of space. The dealership we got it at were great helping me find a car the would fit and understood my needed to see how our catseats would fit in the car before purchasing. One of the reasons I choose that dealership to deal with is because of how the treated me when shopping for the car without my husband around and how they handle my kids. Given when it came time for the paperwork I did give my oldest my phone to watch a movie so he wouldn’t have been running around but our youngest was harder because he would go from wanting to be held to not in 10 mins. I don’t let my oldest watch a lot of TV on play on my phone to much but sometimes it’s the easiest thing to do when you need them to stay still while filling out paperwork
I am so happy that I don’t have children, so I don’t have to worry about stuff like this!
Lol, I had two, they are a handful when their young.
Wondering if the people making snide comments about little buddy’s behavior have ever had a 1 year old, or ever been around a young child in their life 🤔🤔🤔
It’s normal, and healthy, for young children to explore their worlds. It shows they are happy and feel comfortable exploring their world.
Naysayers, please look up research done on attachment theory. It’ll open your eyes. 👍🏻
I would be *way* more worried about a 1 year old who was super quiet or behaving perfectly.
This is coming from someone who is a teacher, holds a masters degree in education, former nanny and daycare worker, and current mom to a 1 year old boy.
Thank you for sharing your expertise, Ellyn. 🙂
Yes, parents have every right to protect their children’s privacy. I don’t remember saying they didn’t.