At your request, Mr. Handsome and I just filmed another video blog. Some of you asked us to share what we have learned about relationships since getting married and moving in together, so that’s the topic of this video. Enjoy!
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It was a nice effort Ellie, thank-you very much. I think you are a gracious lady. Mr Handsome is typical to most men who are spouses. But I appreciated his half of the blog, thanks very much to him too.
Our pleasure. Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
Ellie
Handsome couple!
Well thank you!
Ellie
Loved this! You two are so cute and sweet together.
Also, I just want to say that I really love the length of your vlogs. I know some people who do a 15, 20, 30 minute vlog, and while they are interesting, that's just time I don't have!
Thank you. 🙂
I totally agree; I rarely have the time to watch long vlogs either. I'm into things that are short and sweet and to the point. lol
Glad to have you as a reader!
Ellie
Actually after watching this if you two did a 30 min vlog I would watch it all. I am just someone else who thought this was interesting, informative and entertaining (a special thanks to Mr Handsome for his entertaining parts).
I agree, I'm more of a reader so prefer shorter videos. 🙂
I enjoyed the video, Ellie!
Y'all are so cute ❤️ Loved the vlog!
Thank you, Alicia. I'm blessed to have you as a reader. 🙂
Ellie
Hey Ellie loved this!! You and Mr Handsome are great together!! My husband and I are assisting with the marriage ministry at our church. We just started using the Love and Respect book and workbook and are loving it. We have already had great discussions and We are only on chapter 2.
This book sounds interesting. I'm going to see if our church library has it.
Thank you, Shela! 'Love and Respect' is great. We studied it with our Sunday School, and it did prompt lots of great discussion. I definitely recommend it, Regina.
Shela, are the folks in your marriage ministry engaged, newlywed, or have they been married a while?
Ellie
We have a mixture of couples some have been married 20 plus years others are newlyweds we even have an engaged couple preparing for marriage.
I chuckled the whole time Mr Handsome was talking. He just doesn't know how to be serious. My husband is the same. I'm more serious so it's a good balance.
I really liked what you said about letting the little things go. Sometimes we get into arguments that aren't worth it.
Great video Ellie! Really enjoyed it 👍
Lol, I know, he's a hoot. Being married to him has taught me how to see the humor in things and has reminded me to relax and not get so worked up about life. How long have you and your husband been married?
Ellie
We've been married for ten years and have two boys.
Except for the lower right corner after the video was over, this was good.
Awesome what a sweet video and couple you two make! You two shared wonderful advice. After 23 years of marriage,I'm still learning so thank you for the advice.
Thank you, Regina! I'm sure you have a lot of wisdom to share. If you have anything to add, feel free to post it. 🙂
Ellie
My spouse and I have not used any book in our 43 years together. Guess we've been doing it all wrong?
Never in the whole video did she mention that you have to study books for your marriage to work.
I haven't used a book, either. I'm not a fan of self-help books. You can always find one that contradicts the other, so which can you believe? Sometimes the only thing that gets improved by these books is the author's bank account.
We are supposed to study the Bible daily and apply the information within it to our lives. This is easier said/thought than done. Books in a Christian Sunday school class are probably topical studies based on the Bible. This is likely helpful because the Bible is big. However I find that a book can give someone else's influence, so it is important to read the Bible oneself to be directly touched by it. But then I think a person should be prayerful and hopeful, because there are parts in the Bible that could make a person feel strong feelings of fear and rejection. While there are things that are profoundly loving and redeeming. The real goal of the Bible is our redemption, salvation, eternal life. This is the work worth the effort to make work, for anyone.
Have you ever read the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? If not, I highly recommend it. It's really interesting. It categorizes the ways different partners express and perceive love. The author also writes from a Christian perspective. I've been married nearly 13 years and it's helped me understand my husband better (and I thought I understand him pretty well already 🙂 ).
We did! We also studied that one with our Sunday School class. Another book that really gets you thinking. Do you have any other book suggestions?
Ellie
The Bible.
Do you mean the book that has such useful advice as commanding a man to marry his dead brother's wife and bear children with her? That she must not remarry outside the family? That book?
Your negative attitude to the Bible is an evil spirit. You should try to get rid of that spirit. Try to get the right spirit of love and reverence for the living God as revealed to us in the Bible.
With all due respect to "Do you mean the book that has such …"
On reading and studying the Bible one will realize that after the creation of the world, the garden of Eden and Adam then Eve, God gave the command to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil to those first people. This is where the inherent tendency to deride God and his commands begins. An astute preacher said the first sin was not Eve's disobedience but slandering God that caused Eve to doubt God's command to the point she used her free will to disobey. This same preacher strongly warned against gossip and slander and the abuse of the tongue and that should extend to the abuse of the pen. A tactic of the enemy in action against God and man has been from the beginning to select and distort segments of what God says to confuse and manipulate humans into dissension. One third of the angels in heaven fell due to Satasn's influence on them an we all are designed upon too. Another preacher advised do not engage in arguments with the enemy as Eve dfid and the Bible says do not give an opportunity to the enemy.
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous couple sharing excellent philosophies.
Aww, thank you! I'm blessed to have you as a reader.
Ellie
Ellie's like: so like today… and Mr Handsome was like oh no what's she going to share… lol.
Someone was taking that video making more seriously than the other.
Haha!
That was a cute video of the two of you. I liked Mr. Handsome's guitar intro. It was hard to see your faces though because of the light coming from behind you.
I'm not so sure about the respect and love thing. I really don't like generalizations such as "Men crave respect and women crave love." For one thing, it really depends on each person's personality. It also depends on what kind of relationship you have. If you believe the husband is the "leader" of the family and if he is the sole breadwinner, then it makes sense that he would want respect first and foremost. My husband and I have a relationship that is egalitarian and we share equally in all duties both in and out of the household, and that love/respect saying doesn't hold true for us. Maybe next time you could talk about your beliefs regarding marriage and gender roles.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I definitely agree that personalities play a role. And women certainly do desire respect, while men desire to be loved. The book goes into much more detail, but in general, the idea is that most married coupes run into a communication disconnect because of the different way that men and women understand love. It's really very interesting. As a Christian couple, my husband and I believe that he is the head of the household. But while we have different roles, we firmly believe that we are equal in God's eyes. I would be glad to do a video on our beliefs regarding marriage and gender roles. 🙂
Ellie
Many Christians do not consider men to be heads of their households. You should qualify your statement a bit further. "As a _____ (fundamentalist? Baptist?) Christian couple…"
Anonymous, how about "As a Bible-believing Christian couple?
Christian means little "Christ" or Christ like. Someone claiming to be a Christian should follow the teachings of Christ. The Bible says in Ephesians 5:3, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
Second 3/28 Anon. — Not all Christian faiths require you to or want you to believe that Ephesians passage literally. Not all Christian faiths hold that the man is the "head" of the wife. Take a look around at other churches than yours, if you don't believe me.
There is a difference between avoiding conflict and preventing conflict. When you avoid conflict by not talking about things, it doesn't really help anybody. It's not a big deal to say "Oh, by the way, you put my socks in the wrong place. It's not a big deal, just wanted to let you know." And for the other person to say "Oops, sorry about that, I was just preoccupied with something else." My husband and I do stuff like that all the time, and we talk about it just to let the other person know, and we usually laugh about it. Nobody gets offended or upset. The way to prevent conflict is to talk about the little things before they become big things, not by swallowing it and pretending you didn't notice.
Oh a paradigm shift. Or maybe some things really are little things and a person does not want to be a petty nag. And some things could be part of a bigger growing pattern, like clicking on the lower right corner after the video finishes, nip it in the bud!
That's a great reminder and very true. Rather than write a lengthy explanation, I'm going to make another short video on that. I'll post it soon. 🙂
Ellie
Even when a person is a parent there is a tendency to be correcting and critical every time one speaks to their child (ren). Even asan employed person I was grieved by getting negative feed back on points but not getting any positive feed back. It is a constant challenge to use the tongue in a Godly up building way.
As a person who has been married for twenty-five years, I agree that there are many times you just need to let things go. We all do things that aggravate our spouses at times, and they do the same in turn. I realized several years ago that I just needed to give my husband permission to be human. He is allowed to have a bad day and come home in a bad mood on occasion. He is not always going to respond the right way in stressful situations. I give him grace which he gives me in return when I am having a bad day. If it is an issue that could occur on a regular basis, then say something before it becomes a big thing but just let the little things go. I always want our home to be a pleasant place without any nagging or whining or criticizing.
Hi Ellie,
Thanks for the vlog, really fun to see you and Mr. Handsome interacting with each other. I think your thoughts of what you have learned are all part of a process newlyweds learn in the first few years. Though as has been mentioned , we keep learning about our spouse all the time no matter how long the marriage has been! What I liked best was the love and friendship between you! Thanks for sharing! Eileen
Hi Eileen,
I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the video! I totally agree with all that you said. You sound very wise. How long have you been married?
Ellie
I have been married for 35 years. Thank you for your kind comments. Eileen
What the Bible? Never see one before.
It's that book found in hotel room drawers, beside the phone book.
Jesus came to open the eyes of the blind…
The Bible is God's Word to we humans. It tells us how He saved us from sin by sending His Son, Jesus, to die for us, so that we might have eternal life and go to heaven when we die (and not go to hell, which is a horrible place of torment) and it tells us how to live while we are here on earth. It is the best book in the world, and if you really have never seen one, please try to get hold of one as soon as you can. I personally like the King James Version, as I think it is the most accurate translation.
How do you know it's the most accurate translation? Do you know ancient greek?
Check out the book, "Did the Catholic Church Give Us The Bible" by David W. Daniels. It presents a good argument for the KJV being the most accurate translation. (And, no, I do not believe the Catholic Church gave us the Bible!)
It's only one holy book in the world. There are many others for other religions, each equally valuable to their religion. There is no "best" book. You don't have to read just one of them, or any of them, because someone professes it's the best. Make up your own mind, and you'll be happier.
But there is only one Book that tells us the truth about how to go to heaven. The Holy Bible explains how Jesus died and rose again to take our sin on Himself (for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God – Romans. 3:23) and give us His righteousness in exchange. When we believe that He did this for us, we are washed in the blood of Christ, and made clean in God's eyes. (See 2 Cor. 5:21; Eph. 2:8-10; Titus 3:5-7) There is no greater joy than knowing that our sins are forgiven, and we will be in Heaven with the Lord one day. Death will happen as surely as night follows day, and we need to be ready.
Actually, I did take Greek and other bible languages in my church run college. Why do you think those of us who are on this blog are not well read or educated in religion? Quit being so snarky
Ellie&Mr. Handsome
Thank you so much! That was so delightful. Very cute and very witty. Please share again soon!!
Loved it so much,I'm going to watch it again and again.